Late night

It's weird. I'm "babysitting" and just listening to my "belle and sebastian" pandora station. Up late chilling to music and I don't know... It's raining outside and it reminds me of sitting up late listening to music in FL, back when I was in high school. It would be mega late, and I'd be tired, but completely alert.

I don't really know what's going on with me this week, but I just feel awake in a way that I haven't in a really long time. Like a huge fog has lifted, and I'm standing on the edge of something completely new. I've been spending a lot of the last few months alone with myself. I haven't been writing, I haven't been working terribly hard, I haven't been doing much of anything. Just sitting, silently, waiting for things to sort themselves out.

And then something shifted. I started working out?! I started these bar method classes that I've been thinking about taking since january, and I just did it. And now I'm going 4-5 times a week. I was never this on top of this stuff even when I was in ROTC and I had peer pressure to force me to go.

But that's not the change it's just a symptom of something else. Maybe if I sit silently long enough I'll find out what's up.

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