Recent Revelation

"The man who is isolated, who is unable to share in the benefits of ... association, or has no need to share because he is already self-sufficient, must, therefore, be either a beast or a god." -Aristotle

My fierce sense of independence causes me to forget this truth. When it comes to friends, I'm right with Aristotle: I make time for them, fight for them, love them--but rarely do I let myself depend on them. This has been a problem for me when it comes to significant other sorts of relationships. I will rarely fight for someone or let him know how much I need, value, and care about him. I do this because to act otherwise would be to admit that this person can hurt me, and that I am not completely capable of taking care of myself. When you grow up the way I did, with no one to be there for you, one has only two choices: to let the pain of your loneliness consume you or to decide that people don't matter and that you can take care of yourself. It never occurred to me that there was another choice or another way to live. Now that I do, I find that un-teaching myself the techniques that have protected me, my entire life, hard to forget.

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